16 things they don’t tell you about having a catheter 

  1. Orange juice may as well be acid.
  2. When it’s changed every month it’s like your guts are going to explode.
  3. You constantly wonder if you smell of asparagus.
  4. Periods and catheters don’t mix.
  5. You become an expert at unblocking.
  6. It blocks after you use the bathroom.
  7. You will bypass the catheter when your on the toilet and the tiniest drop of pee being passed is like shitting through a needle.
  8. Don’t wear jeans or have tight waistbands.
  9. You end up bring on first name terms with nurses in the emergency room.
  10. The bags will leak.
  11. Peeling off a statlock is like a painful wax.
  12. Trapped wind and catheters don’t mix and neither does constipation. 
  13. In your first few weeks or if your like me, you’ll change your bed sheets a hundred times.
  14. Try not to rely on the bag, I’ve ruined my bladder muscles and am now paying for it.
  15. Don’t over drink. Or drink too quickly.
  16. For God sake don’t kink the pipe!
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